If you’ve ever noticed children clinging to their mum’s side during a family gathering, or running first to their maternal grandparents instead of their paternal ones, you’ve witnessed what experts call the matrilineal advantage.
It’s a universal pattern seen across cultures — and Malaysia is no exception. Simply put, matrilineal advantage refers to the emotional closeness and stronger bonds children tend to have with their mothers and their mother’s side of the family. This phenomenon isn’t about favouritism — it’s rooted in centuries of caregiving traditions, social expectations and even evolutionary logic.
“Children often feel closer and more attached to their mother’s side of the family because women — especially mothers and grandmothers — play central roles in raising and guiding children,” explains certified family therapist Bawany Chinapan, who is also the Andolfi Family Therapy Centre clinical director and AskATherapist.com.my founder.
“Because of that, their side of the family naturally becomes more prominent in a child’s emotional world.”
International research supports this idea. Studies have consistently shown that mothers — and their mothers — act as the emotional glue of families.
In the study, “Love Needs to be Exchanged: A Diary Study of Interaction and Enactment of the Family Kinkeeper Role” (Dawn O. Braithwaite et al, 2017), 91% of participants who identified as “kinkeepers” — those who maintain family bonds — were women.
Another study, “The Kinkeeping Connection: Continuity, Crisis and Consensus” (Laura H. Brown and Sara B. DeRycke, 2010), found that caregiving and communication were overwhelmingly led by mothers, followed by maternal grandmothers — and only then by fathers.
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